This whole year I’ve been waiting for 2 albums to come out. The first one is U2′s “No Line on The Horizon”. The next one was Green Day’s 21st Century Breakdown.
Billie Joe Armstrong has once again made a concept album similar to “American Idiot” This album however; was on a more introspective level than political. The Album is story of two “lovers” Christian and Gloria. These people are dealing with the issues of our post-modern times. It also shows a lot of introspective views on the part of Armstrong. Through the album, you can see he is torn and splitting the pole on a lot of issues. He deals with the “agnostic viewpoint” and even some political issues. This album is a romantic and emotional album. In a way he confronts and challenges himself in this album. I know some of you want to get your conservative religious right wing panties in a wad, but don’t. Even Wal-mart which sold “American Idiot” (A much more controversial and vulgar album…however I love the song “Jesus of Suburbia”) won’t sell this album for some reason unknown. It isn’t controversial at all, it doesn’t promote drug usage, sex, or anything of that nature. The worst is the few profanities found in the album, along with references to whiskey and cigarettes. I enjoyed the reference to the song “Working Class Hero” by John Lennon found in the song ” 21st Century Breakdown”… he says ” I never made it as a working class hero, 21st century breakdown,I once was lost but, never was found” They did a cover of the same John Lennon Song in 2007 to bring attention and help from Amnesty International to the genocide in Darfur.
This album wasn’t as punk sounding as their older albums nor was it a power pop sounding as the “American Idiot” album. It had a much healthier mix within itself. On the song “Viva La Gloria!” You hear Piano, Cello, Violin, and Timpani’s on top of their standard three man band sound.
Before anyone praises or bashes the album at least listen to the whole thing. I used to call Green Day “Green Gay” (Sorry Danny lol) but; then I actually gave them a shot. I learned a lesson from my ignorance and pride.
Here’s my favorite song from the album I thought you would enjoy it……
Ok so I know it’s been awhile. I haven’t found the words I needed but I’m writing to you now. There are so many things I learned about myself on this fast. It has changed me and my outlook on life. I’ve forced myself to have those honest conversations with God where the words are sticking in your throat like nails. When I see a homeless man or someone is not well off I think about what I can do to change that. What can we do as a community. There’s been many nights of Beatles and U2 albums blaring through my ipod while I dream. Dreaming, something I forgot how to do. Something I missed for awhile. There’s one song that has been blaring through my ears and thumping in my heart with passion….It’s called “I Still Haven’t found what I’m looking for” The altar was where this journey began and my grave is where it will end. I’m constantly seeking God throughout this journey, and this was another part of it. The best is still yet to come. My soul isn’t home yet and I have a long way to travel. A lot of people would say I’ve self actualized or rededicated my life, I’ve done neither. My life was already dedicated. I discovered something beautiful, intimate and changing. This is something I can barely describe but, like gravity I know it’s there and I’m reminded everytime I fall. I’ve accepted God’s grace. Not a conditional, judgmental, evangelical, trapped in a glass box grace. All of the crap I’ve done, and will ever do is forgiven, and I’ve forgiven myself. I’m another step closer than I was 21 days ago to understanding this all. I’ve given up on “Jesus inc. religion” for a faith in grace and love that passes all understanding. Thanks for all of your prayers, thoughts, and love you’ve shown me the last 21 days.
I have climbed highest mountains
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you
I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
I have kissed honey lips
Felt the healing fingertips
It burned like a fire
This burning desire
I have spoke with a ton of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
I believe in the Kingdom Come
When all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
Well, yes I’m still running
You broke the bonds
And you loosened the chains
Carried the cross
Of all my shame
all my shame
You know I believe it
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
I’ve been thinking so much lately about all the mistakes in my life (that I can remember ha ha) I’m far from perfect let me tell you that. This fast has brought me to a different place I think of this in the Bible. “Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.” (Matthew 6:6) Before this fast I was upset, angry at God, questioning the Grace of the Cross. Ironically today I read this as well
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28) I was tired with the Church and I still am. Humbling myself, removing distraction, and constant daily prayer have shown me a quiet place of peace inside of myself. However grace isn’t just about me and making me feel good. Grace was given in Christ’s sacrifice for us. We’ve all sinned and made mistakes. We all have regrets. Through Christ’s sacrifice we are made pure again.
I remember riding my bike as a kid. Even worse learning to ride my bike. I remember learning and falling off a lot. My mom and dad were always there to pick me up, clean me up. I remember them holding me, while I was crying in tears from pain and fright. I was scared to get back on again but, They said it would be okay, they were watching me and were there with me always. They were there to clean me up and nurture me again because; I fell off more than once. God’s grace through Christ is always there for us. He’s always there to clean up our mistakes and make us feel whole again. God made me love abstract art because God makes abstract art. Abstract art uses broken ideas, images, almost anything incomplete, broken, and fragmented to make into something beautiful. God takes whats broken in our lives and makes it beautiful.
We should not only accept this grace but, live by it. We should give grace to everyone because vengeance is God’s not ours. I’m tired of this evangelical grace that lives in a box. Sometimes I wonder if they hide it to try to scare people into the acceptance. Grace doesn’t discriminate. Grace doesn’t judge, or call people out. I’ll leave it to God to judge
“For God so loved the world (that means everybody) that He gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believed in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16)
Everybody is forgiven for whatever you’ve done. All we have to do is accept this and believe it.
I believe that only in that acceptance but, showing it to others. Not in a let’s go to the mall and Solicit, invade on people’s privacy way. I feel we are the hands and feet of Christ. We are to take care of the widows, orphans, homeless, abused, and imperfect. We were all once in their shoes and God has charged us with the job of doing the same for them in the Great Commission. I don’t want people to see me on the streets but God’s grace.
Grace by:U2
Grace, she takes the blame
She covers the shame
Removes the stain
It could be her name
Grace, it’s the name for a girl
It’s also a thought that changed the world
And when she walks on the street
You can hear the strings
Grace finds goodness in everything
Grace, she’s got the walk
Not on a ramp or on chalk
She’s got the time to talk
She travels outside of karma
She travels outside of karma
When she goes to work
You can hear her strings
Grace finds beauty in everything
Grace, she carries a world on her hips
No champagne flute for her lips
No twirls or skips between her fingertips
She carries a pearl in perfect condition
What once was hurt
What once was friction
What left a mark
No longer stings
Because Grace makes beauty
Out of ugly things
Sorry, the past couple of days have been hectic however I’m getting through them. I had a migraine yesterday. I think this was due to the hunger, today also has been a challenging day. I’ve had hunger pain all day for some reason. However I don’t feel hungry anymore. I’ve been listening to a lot of music. I’ve gone on this wild hair of re-arranging Christmas songs on my guitar which has been fun. Me and God have had some intimate conversations the past few days about me and the convictions on my life. “Be still and know that I am God” is such a hard concept for me….I feel like every moment of every day I’m consumed with School and Work….every moment I’m thinking of something I’ve got to do for one of those two things. My brain is fried some days. I’m about halfway through this thing. I keep telling myself that every time I get frustrated. I’m so blessed to have friends who pray for me and/or support me. God has used you guys so much and you don’t even know it. Around thanksgiving I’m going to give all of my grocery money to the Catholic Action Center. I’m giving them groceries and supplies they need to keep feeding people on the streets. If anyone wants to go with me, give groceries, clothing, or anything I’m taking it all there. The Saturday after Thanksgiving, my roommate, my best bud David, and myself are going to live on the streets for the weekend. It’s already looking to be cold and we’re going no matter what the weather. This isn’t some publicity stunt, nor is it a spectator sport. We’re going with the clothes on our backs, jackets, and bags full of food for homeless people. Like I’ve said in previous notes we’ve all become disconnected from the poor in our society. We tend to apathetic, and sometimes ignorant. We judge them by thinking they’re going to buy booze and drugs with money. I’ve sat down and actually got to talk to them and asked them questions about life. Many of them are people who had problems beyond their control. Many were war veterans whom our government isn’t taking care of like they said they would. In the U.S. if you don’t have an address you can’t get a job. You can’t pay to live anywhere if you don’t have a job. Almost all of the homeless people I talked to were stuck in this vicious cycle. I’m upset that Christians have stereotyped them and judged them. That is the polar opposite of what a Christian should be. By judging them you make yourself a hypocrite. I’m just as guilty of this as the next man. I’m so sorry for being so ignorant and the antonym of Christ.
I’m already a third of the way there….I spent 14 hours studying Logic Homework…man If there’s anything worse for your brain than drug abuse its logic. I got frustrated with it several times but, I made it through the fire. I’m getting more and more excited about sleeping on the street one time. I’m still losing weight. My pain has gotten worse but I’ve got used to it. Hopefully people can’t tell when I’m in pain. Everyday though I’m hungering to be more like Christ. To be a radical. A lot of people have made fun of me or had a negative things to say. Ironically I’ve got more friends whom aren’t even Christian supporting me, encouraging me, and not thinking I’m crazy lol. I drove by several mega churches recently just to look at them. They have thousands of people, pastors who make more than a pastor should, (Someone tell me why we should take our riches from the name of Christ?) Many have little coffee shops (Who use free trade coffee…that’s scary) Bibles that were made from the destruction of rain forests. (whatever happened to the whole “stewards of the earth” deal?)
The Bible addresses that in Genesis 1:26
“God spoke: “Let us make human beings in our image, make them
reflecting our nature
So they can be responsible for the fish in the sea,
the birds in the air, the cattle,
And, yes, Earth itself,
and every animal that moves on the face of Earth.”
God created human beings;
he created them godlike,
Reflecting God’s nature.
He created them male and female.
God blessed them:
“Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge!
Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air,
for every living thing that moves on the face of Earth.”
God told us to take care of the earth, animals, people, air etc. I’m tired of them hiding behind the excuse of “God is in control and I’m not going to be here in 50 years…so why should I care?
Well, the Bible says to be environmental… thats a start.
Back to the free trade thing ( I know I have ADD when I write lol)…Free trade is a great thing to avoid trade embargo if you’re into international policy. The problem is you don’t realize the damage it does. Here’s an example a lot of you have heard about is coffee. Most of your coffee that you consume at your home or Starbuck’s comes from the following Nation States: Columbia, Brazil, Kenya, Tanzania, Argentina, Morocco, the list is endless. Do you notice something about these countries….they’re all third world and under developed, corrupt countries. I’ve seen two of them myself.
Now, let me tell you how we receive our coffee. We send people to buy the coffee from outdoor sweatshops where children (let me say that again CHILDREN!!!!) work under terrible conditions. Thanks to the AIDS pandemic many of these children are the breadwinners for their siblings and they’re orphans. I had a co-worker make this comment about the following one time ” Well I don’t care at least they have a job”
Here’s the problem it causes…
These kids are paid between 6 cents to 30 cents a day. This cannot feed them and their younger siblings. This encourages most 11-16 year old girls to get involved with prostitution. The issue inside of that prostitution is many times they undergo beatings, are forced to take drugs, and sometimes killed so the “customer” doesn’t have to pay. The boys within the same age range get involved in drug trade and theft. Often times they are “pimped” (someone takes 90% of the profits. At least thats the term they used for it when I was in Kenya) and, they still don’t make much. Would you work under those conditions?…let’s all be honest…NO
I ask all of you Christians this….what part of that is moral? What part of us supporting that problem to save a dollar is Christ honoring? What ever happened to Luke 6:31 “Do unto others as you would have them do to you.” I don’t mean for this to be political, I mean for this to be moral.
I’m tired of Jesus Inc., I’m tired of “religion in a box”, I’m tired of apathy
This is why I’m done with the mega-church (You can also call it “the God Mall” or “Six Flags over Jesus”) I’m tired of Christians going and supporting this for these reasons. They play music I WANT to hear…..It’s cool and hip(When was Jesus cool and hip?…they killed him because they hated him so much)….I’m comfortable there. I’m sorry the mega-church truly hurts the world more than it helps it. The other day I laughed when I heard that a Christian private school was going on a mission trip while staying in a 4 star hotel. Jesus lived a nomadic life and probably slept outside a lot. He ate with prostitutes, beggars and drunks (probably smelled like them) He did nothing but; love them and tell them his message of love. Christ wasn’t interested in His personal comfort, He was interested in caring/loving others. He healed them, made them new.
This is my goodbye to Jesusland,
(and my hello to a God of Humility, Love, Compassion, and Justice)
Take a walk
out the gate you go and never stop
past all the stores and wig shops
quarter in a cup for every block
and watch the buildings grow
smaller as you go
Down the tracks
beautiful McMansions on a hill
that overlook a highway
with riverboat casinos and you still
have yet to see a soul
Jesusland
Jesusland
Town to town
broadcast to each house, they drop your name
but no one knows your face
Billboards quoting things you’d never say
you hang your head and pray
for Jesusland
Jesusland
Miles and miles
and the sun goin’ down
Pulses glow
from their homes
You’re not alone
Lights come on
as you lay your weary head on their lawn
Parking lots
cracked and growing grass you see it all
from offices to farms
crosses flying high above the malls
A longer walk
So these last two days have been all little more pleasant than the others. This is not because of my strength but, God’s strength. I’ve lost my attraction to food it’s not as tempting now. There is still pain but I try to hide it. I see a lot of things differently than I used to. I was talking with many friends of different sorts and realized how much I have changed. I’m still dropping weight rapidly. On Thursday I couldn’t sleep at all I felt worried and I couldn’t stop it either I gave in to worry and let it take me over. I laid in bed for 4 hours wrestling with myself. I was questioning everything from why I am doing this to If i was going to be at UK next semester. I remembered a verse I read in Matthew 13:22 “The seed cast in the weeds is the person who hears the kingdom news, but weeds of worry and illusions about getting more and wanting everything under the sun strangle what was heard, and nothing comes of it.” Man, worry was still having a hold of me from the inside. I remembered though that none of this about me. I remembered again similar to day 3. I said “Screw myself”
6/21
Today was a good Saturday for me, I got to go home early from work since we had too many people scheduled. I took a nap, hung out with David, then me and my roommate had church in our apartment with his Anglican Bible study. It was good I got to play guitar and sing leading others in worship. This is something I miss doing from days past. Many of my friends commented on how I’m looking thinner and paler. One of my professors said I looked like a cancer patient. I couldn’t help but, laugh at that. Lavie (my roommate) selected the songs. We did a song called “Joyous light” this is from an ancient hymn of the 2nd century early church called “Hail Gladdening Light” or Phos Hilaron. This is what it says…
O gracious light,
pure brightness of the Everlasting Father in heaven,
O Jesus Christ holy and blessed,
Now as we come to the setting of the Sun,
and our eyes behold the vespor light,
We sing your praises O God; Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
The song we sang was very different but had the some concept of Light. The cool thing about light is theres so many unique qualities to it. Light is a particle and a wave both. Scientist still can’t fully define it they “just know” it exists. Similar to gravity we just know it exists. Without light we wouldn’t know what darkness is but; without darkness we wouldn’t know what light is. As humans we define things by polarity or if they’re synonymous with other things. I was worried because I thought God couldn’t use me I was letting evil win over me. God can use all of us no matter what we’ve done or who we are. I’m praying that God makes me his light in the darkness. I’m praying that when people see the light they see God not my broken down body. We depend on light from the Sun to allow us to see, for our plants to grow using photosynthesis, for warmth so we can survive, to power things…the list is endless. We’re dependent on light and not just from the sun. I feel God uses this analogy by calling himself the light. Everyday as I become weaker, hungrier, He becomes my light. I trust Him to provide and care for me, and to give me the strength to get through my day.
Today was a wonderful relaxation for my body. I needed it. I’ve been thinking though…along with the spiritual issues, which only some are enumerated in the previous messages I have a message that I’m going public with. My message is poverty. If there’s one thing I truly want to come from my fast, it isn’t the lessons God is teaching me (Those are the most dear thing to my soul) but, that the people around me may benefit from my offering. Poverty isn’t a political issue and I don’t want to go into politics with this. Poverty is a moral issue for me and I pray that we will all one day get this right. In the Bible poverty is mentioned more than 2100 times. I think that God is giving a clear command here. The Bible commands us several times to do something. One of the most famous ones is found in Leviticus 25:35
“If one of your brothers becomes indigent (poor) and cannot support himself, help him the same as you would a foreigner or a guest so that he can continue to live in your neighborhood. Don’t gouge him interest charges; out of reverence for your God help your brother to continue to live with you in the neighborhood. Don’t take advantage of his plight by running up big interest charges on his loans, and don’t give him food for profit.”
We’re all guilty of walking past them, driving past them and our hearts are filled with apathy. I’m guilty of this too. Christ gives us an example in Matthew 25:40 “Whenever you did one of these things to someone, overlooked or ignored,that was me-you did it to me” We are guilty every time we don’t do something…man that really makes me feel like crap. I don’t know if many of you read my note “I am not a Christian” but; I talk about my trips to Africa. I recommend that if you haven’t been to a third world country…GO!…When I was there we went to the Kibera slum (The worlds largest slum…and I can tell you the nastiest place I’ve ever been and I would go back in a second) we fed children and while this was a noble thing to; I was disgusted I would never eat this. It was this corn mash stuff it truly had the consistency and smell of fecal matter. I wouldn’t treat myself to that. In Luke it says “Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Luke 6:31) would you eat that? I’m going to assume that’s a NO. Would you want someone to reject you if you needed food, clothes, and shelter. We’re too comfortable here in Suburbia where the majority of American Christians live. We live to eat we don’t eat to live. A Starbuck’s on every corner and a McDonald’s on the next. We overeat to the point of death. A majority of People have gone through more clothes in one year than most of the world will see in their lifetime. When we give it’s always the leftovers. Leftover food from restaurants, expired soup cans, broken down possessions, and the list is endless. We’re giving crumbs from the tables of our lives.
Many of us are honestly scared to really give. We doubt God will take care of us but, he promises us. In Isaiah 58 starting around verse 7
” What I’m interested in seeing you do is sharing your food with the hungry, inviting the homeless and poor into your homes, putting clothes on the shivering Ill-clad,being available to your own families. Do this and the lights will turn on, and your lives will turn around at once”
further down at verse 9 it says this “If you get rid of unfair practices, quit blaming victims, quit gossiping about other peoples sins, If you are generous with the hungry and start living yourselves to the down and out, Your lives will begin to glow in the darkness, Your shadowed lives will be bathed in sunlight. I will always show you where to go.(I LOVE THIS PART!!) and I will give you full life in the emptiest places.”
God has got our back we just need to have true faith in Him. This sounds like an awesome deal to me. When I go to most evangelical churches they pray for God to bless them and what they’re doing. While I also pray for God’s blessing and loving mercy on my life, we should all get involved in the work God is doing and the work He has laid out for us in the scripture above. God’s work is already blessed. As the Bible says God is with the poor. This is what God is doing, and He’s calling us to do it.
I know you all just love these songs…lol This one is called “Crumbs from Your Table” my favorite part is when Bono sings “and you speak of signs and wonders, but, I need something other, I would believe if I was able, but I’m waiting on the crumbs from your table”
From the brightest star
Comes the blackest hole
You had so much to offer
Why did you offer your soul?
I was there for you baby
When you needed my help
Would you deny for others
What you demand for yourself?
Cool down mama, cool off
Cool down mama, cool off
You speak of signs and wonders
I need something other
I would believe if I was able
But I’m waiting on the crumbs from your table
You were pretty as a picture
It was all there to see
Then your face caught up with your psychology
With a mouth full of teeth
You ate all your friends
And you broke every heart thinking every heart mends
You speak of signs and wonders
But I need something other
I would believe if I was able
But I’m waiting on the crumbs from your table
Where you live should not decide
Whether you live or whether you die
Three to a bed
Sister Ann, she said
Dignity passes by
And you speak of signs and wonders
But I need something other
I would believe if I was able
I’m waiting on the crumbs from your table
